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The world of the nanoputian is much more diverse than the initial white-bread, basic, vanilla portrayal of Jim Tour’s nanoworld. We, and our wonderful readers, have undertaken the long and arduous task of documenting the whole world of these weird and wonderful denizens of ngstrom-scale science.

I figured it was time for another dive into their wondrous nanoworld. Join me, won’t you?


This first one goes out to our friends in Japan.


Nanosnooki is a nanomess. Her untimely creation in a flask on the banks of the Jersey shores was undoubtedly promoted by lots and lots of ethanol. Exposure to excess chemical tanner has led Nanosnooki to turn a healthy orange- a sign of fertility in her culture, if you could call it that. Her seemingly impossible corannulene boobs take up approximately 50% of her total mass, making her a bit top-heavy. And her hair isn’t actually a nanobumpit- apparently she just teases it until it LOOKS like that. She is fist-pumping because there is music on, like you do.

And she constantly wants something called “nano smush-smush.” We didn’t ask.

The Nanosituation

His 15 minutes of fame are over. Regrettably, nobody recalls ever having mentioned this to him.


Look at this fucking nanohipster. He doesn’t need glasses, because HE IS SMALLER THAN THE WAVELENGTH OF VISIBLE LIGHT. Yet he has them, because it’s ironic. As you can clearly tell from his neckbeard, he doesn’t give a shit about attracting women. And you know that tobacco he’s smoking was hand-rolled, because he’s anti-consumerist. But it’s easy to be anti-consumerist when you don’t have a job. And when it’s his dad’s tobacco. He’s holding up a Fleet Foxes album explaining how they sold out right all the NanoKids started to like them. And he’s holding up the album with a metal of some kind. What kind of metal, you ask him? An obscure one. You haven’t heard of it.

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